apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
