Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize