I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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