I think I died a long time ago.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize