Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
