uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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