your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize