if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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