I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Two words: blizzard sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize