Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize