I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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