Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
