Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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