Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize