I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My vagina is officially offended.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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