oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
