hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
