Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
