she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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