foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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