I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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