Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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