My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
