So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
