Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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