You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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