i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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