Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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