I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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