i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
