so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
