I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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