We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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