I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
