Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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