It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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