Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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