My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
please come you make the beer taste better
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
