i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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