Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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