Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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