So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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