I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
