He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
