You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
