he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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