im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
