I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
