I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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