the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
