you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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