I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
