sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Vodka?
Forever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
