if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
