Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
